Board: TheTenthMuse
Topic: Double-Dactyls

Topic Editor: Senex Caecilius
Topic Description: This topic is dedicated to the double-dactyl (aka ...



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Message: Aeneas Reductus, or The Epick Taym'd
Author: - Gnaeus Cassius
Date: Aug 28, 1998 15:52

This one is not mine, but its length and brilliance deserve great praise. I hand this out to students when they read the Aeneid. As you will see, each stanza corresponds to a book of the Aeneid.


I.
Arma virumque ca-
nobody's suffered as
pious Aeneas, the
Trojan, has done:
so he tells Dido, that
Carthagenetical
Tyrian princess and
bundle of fun.

II.
"Arma virumque, ca-
caphonous noises came
down through the floor of a
large wooden horse;
that night all Hellas broke
pyromaniacally
loose, wrecking Troy, sealing
Helen's divorce.

III.
"Arma virumque, ca-
lamitous ruin has
followed me everywhere,
run me to ground;
now I, across the whole
Mediterranean,
find myself searching for
something to found."

IV.
Arma virumque, Ca-
lypso had no better
luck when she tried to keep
arms on her man;
Dido does dire deeds
autophoneutical
(Suicide's shorter, but
it wouldn't scan).

V.
Arma virumque, ca-
priciously Juno has
fired up the blighters to
burn all the ships;
pious Aeneas says
(labiorigidly):
"Build some new galleys, guys:
then - watch your slips."

VI.
Arma virumque, ca-
no one expects to get
out when they once have gone
down into hell;
heroes, though, packing a
patrioracular
promise, appear to come
through it quite well.

VII.
Arma virumque, ca-
tastrophe hatches to
cancel the wedding - a
hitch in the plan:
Turnus, the mettlesome
Rutuliprincipal
lad, grows so mad as to
nettle our man.

VIII.
Arma virumque, ca-
nonical topics: a
good man, Evander, now
enters the field;
Venus grows fretful, and
matriprotectively
calling on Vulcan, buys
sonny a shield.

IX.
Arma virumque, can-
tankerous Turnus tries
storming the camp -- hopes to
clean up the plains;
Nisus and Co., caught in
noctiprogredient
slaughters, are slaughtered in
turn for their pains.

X.
Arma virumque, (ca-
tharsis unbounded!)
young Pallas, Evander's son
buys it, poor pup;
Venus's son fixes
responsibility --
sees that the prime bounder's
number is up.

XI.
Arma virumque, Ca-
milla the Volscian
makes for the Latins a
splendid last stand;
leaving a legacy
axiomatical:
"Trust no Etruscan who's
eyeing your land."

XII.
Arma virumque: can
'neas put Pallas's
fall from his mind, sweeten
bitter with verse? --
"But that reminds me..." -- so,
semperspontaneous,
he does to Turnus two
turns for the worse.

Copyright (c) 1995, Bruce A. McMenomy



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