Message: Aeneas Reductus, or The Epick Taym'd
Author: - Gnaeus Cassius
Date: Aug 28, 1998 15:52

This one is not mine, but its length and brilliance deserve great praise. I hand this out to students when they read the Aeneid. As you will see, each stanza corresponds to a book of the Aeneid. I. Arma virumque ca- nobody's suffered as pious Aeneas, the Trojan, has done: so he tells Dido, that Carthagenetical Tyrian princess and bundle of fun. II. "Arma virumque, ca- caphonous noises came down through the floor of a large wooden horse; that night all Hellas broke pyromaniacally loose, wrecking Troy, sealing Helen's divorce. III. "Arma virumque, ca- lamitous ruin has followed me everywhere, run me to ground; now I, across the whole Mediterranean, find myself searching for something to found." IV. Arma virumque, Ca- lypso had no better luck when she tried to keep arms on her man; Dido does dire deeds autophoneutical (Suicide's shorter, but it wouldn't scan). V. Arma virumque, ca- priciously Juno has fired up the blighters to burn all the ships; pious Aeneas says (labiorigidly): "Build some new galleys, guys: then - watch your slips." VI. Arma virumque, ca- no one expects to get out when they once have gone down into hell; heroes, though, packing a patrioracular promise, appear to come through it quite well. VII. Arma virumque, ca- tastrophe hatches to cancel the wedding - a hitch in the plan: Turnus, the mettlesome Rutuliprincipal lad, grows so mad as to nettle our man. VIII. Arma virumque, ca- nonical topics: a good man, Evander, now enters the field; Venus grows fretful, and matriprotectively calling on Vulcan, buys sonny a shield. IX. Arma virumque, can- tankerous Turnus tries storming the camp -- hopes to clean up the plains; Nisus and Co., caught in noctiprogredient slaughters, are slaughtered in turn for their pains. X. Arma virumque, (ca- tharsis unbounded!) young Pallas, Evander's son buys it, poor pup; Venus's son fixes responsibility -- sees that the prime bounder's number is up. XI. Arma virumque, Ca- milla the Volscian makes for the Latins a splendid last stand; leaving a legacy axiomatical: "Trust no Etruscan who's eyeing your land." XII. Arma virumque: can 'neas put Pallas's fall from his mind, sweeten bitter with verse? -- "But that reminds me..." -- so, semperspontaneous, he does to Turnus two turns for the worse. Copyright (c) 1995, Bruce A. McMenomy