Board: TheaterDionysos
Topic: THE JUDGMENT OF PARIS: an original satyr-play

Topic Editor: Xenophanes Orestes
Topic Description: ...

Message: EXODOS: the fat lady finally sings!
Author: - Xenophanes Orestes
Date: Feb 27, 1999 09:15

Here's the story of a man named Paris
Who was choosing 'tween three very lovely dames.
From the first one he was offered wealth and wisdom
The second called him names.

Then the third one said if she were picked the fairest
She'd procure for him the world's most famous whore.
Off to Sparta Aphrodite flew and brought her,
And what happened next? Well, that's the Trojan War.
The Trojan War,
The Trojan War,
That's the reason they will fight the Trojan War.

OR EXODOS 2 (audience participation: take your pick!)

Come and listen to our story of a man from Troy.
Made a promise to a goddess, so he got himself a toy.
But then one day Menelaus came around,
And he and Agamemnon burned his city to the ground.

Troy, that is.
Homer's Ilion.
Schliemann's gold mine.

[note to the media illiterate: sung to the tune of "The Brady Bunch" and "The Beverly Hillbillies" respectively]

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