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Board: TheaterDionysos
Topic: THE JUDGMENT OF PARIS: an original satyr-play

Topic Editor: Xenophanes Orestes
Topic Description: ...

Message: SCENE TWO: Let the contest begin!
Author: Thespis Ariston, Janus Caecilius, and - Xenophanes Orestes
Date: May 22, 1998 11:54

[enter Athena]

ATHENA:
Greetings, mortal Paris. If you can't guess by my divine splendor and fabulous good looks, I'm the goddess Athena. We deities are in need of some assistance, and I think you're just the man for the job and what a man, I might add.

PARIS:
How may a humble shepherd help the Olympians?

CHORUS LEADER:
Hey, how about introducing me to the little lady?

PARIS:
Shut up! This one's mine! -- Now, dear goddess, where were we?

ATHENA:
Let me explain. By chance, someone left this little item for us to find. As you can see by the inscription, it clearly was meant for me, but some of my fellow goddesses (whose vanity is truly superhuman) disagree. We need a discriminating eye to judge which of us deserves the title, if you're willing. I respect the wisdom of listening to all sides before making one's choice (even if it is a blatantly obvious one!), so allow me to be first in justifying my claim.

PARIS:
I think I understand all I need to make this choice. I don't see why you three feel you need to point out things about yourselves of which I am already aware. The fact that I am always surrounded by sheep doesn't have to mean I have the senses of a shish kebab.

ATHENA:
First of all, how to say this without sounding condescending... oh, that means talking down to you. But you could not possibly know all there is to the three of us, you a mere mortal! And all the stories and myths of us combined are only but a shadow of our extraordinary existence. N'est-ce pas?

PARIS:
Oi! Mind your French, please. Let's see...virgin Goddess of Wisdom, born of Zeus' mind, symbol is the Owl, patron deity of Athens, that means good breed and wealth....or did I leave anything major out?

ATHENA:
I should say so! You never once mentioned my beauty! How can you describe me without discussing the fact that I am beautiful?!?!?! Paris....is there something that might assist you in making your decision....something you want desperately?

PARIS:
Are you trying to bribe me, Athena? For if you are, you might just meet the standards required to be a true female. Would that make you feel more self-confident?

ATHENA:
I would never think of such a thing...I simply am well aware of how difficult it is to make a WISE decision when one's needs are weighing so heavy on one's mind. So, in order to make it a fair, well-thought out, WISE decision, I just thought I might be able to take your mind off your everyday worries by GRANTING you whatever you need, or WISH! Then you could keep your mind focused on the decision at hand, right?

PARIS:
Well, missy, now that you mention it, I suppose you're right. What would make my life easier?

ATHENA:
I know!

[to be continued]





Next: ODE TWO: forbidden fruit ( - Xenophanes Orestes )
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